I'm not "just" a mom.

When I walked into motherhood, finally I felt like I was walking into my calling. Becoming a mother has been something I have always wanted to be. Being able to feel little stretches and kicks in my belly was something I dreamed about. The day my husband and I found out we were expecting we were thrilled but also scared. Scared in the sense that we were 100% unprepared to parent a whole other human being. We then had our daughter and we were thrilled. She came into this world a beautiful, Haitian kissed, angel baby. We then delivered our second angel baby and she was just as perfect. In the eyes of those who have known the desires of my heart could say I'm “living the dream”. In many ways I think that I am. I am truly a blessed woman. Set aside from the beautiful husband and kids, there’s a fine line of still being Elizabeth and not “just” a wife and mom. There’s a lot they don’t tell you about becoming a mom. . .

They don’t tell you the fact that you absolutely won’t be the same in any way. Physically, you’ll look differently. Mentally, you’ll think and process differently. Spiritually, you will pray differently and your faith will look different. It’s taken me a while but I’m learning that different isn’t bad, it is just that, different. Honestly, when I look at my new body I struggle to love it. I struggle to love the stretch marks that show the growth of life living inside of me. I struggle not going to the dark place because sometimes the sound of a baby crying can be very overwhelming. I also struggle with fear that even a table or a chair will hurt my ambitious toddler. It seems that all areas of my life scream, “mama”. Being a stay at home mama has also made conversations interesting with anyone other than my kids. How does one switch from “did you poop?”, “do you need a snack?”, “please don’t sit on your sister”, “ready for milkies?” to “what’s the weather like?”, “have you voted?”, or “tried any new restaurants recently?” when honestly you are just hoping the conversation will end soon because you’re tired and your husband needs to you about his day too. Finding a balance is hard. Being a mama is hard. Being a wife is hard. Being a successful functioning human in society is hard. The best part is that though these roles are indeed hard, hard doesn’t mean impossible. Hard is still doable. Between all of these there is still you. I’m not “just” a wife and a mom and neither are you. You are wonderful. You are valued. You are kind. You are generous. You are important. You are desired by the most High. You are loved for who you are before kids, currently, and after your kids are grown and gone. You are loved.

#TheMessyMama